The End of the Beginning

Two weeks ago, I had a bittersweet moment. My term on the Masumeen Youth Committee, or MYC for short, (finally) came to an end after two years. I say it was a bittersweet moment because it was a happy yet a sad moment for me.

A little background on who/what the MYC is. Its the committee at the Islamic centre I attend regularly; its general purpose is to cater to the youth of the community. There is more detail, but this is a very quick summary of it all.

It was a sad moment for me for many reasons. First and foremost, I was in a position (Public Relations) that I enjoyed and had roles/responsibilities that I loved. It gave me a new learning experience and also allowed me to use the skills I'd picked up from college & university in an important role.
Secondly, it allowed me to give back to the community. I know; this sounds very cliché. But I felt there was a big need to contribute back to a community which has given me a lot: a starting point for religious education; multiple opportunities for reciting/presenting during programs; and a place where I could socialize with people from the community. Its always important to give back; life is like that with a lot of relationships where its give and take, and it shouldn't be any different with our religious communities. Unfortunately, the importance of  religious community & its significance is neglected & not appreciated as much as it should be because the focus is on the useless gains of this world.
The third (and most important) reason ties into the second one, and covers a few different bases. It was the reason I brought myself back into the community. For about seven years,  I had made myself step away from the community starting in 2004 (during my three years in college; two years in university; and first two years at work). This was due to a few reasons, which I won't get into (for now at least). This was a mistake on my part, and I regret it. At the get go, I didn't feel the effects too much. However, sometimes we tend to realize things a bit late. I realized how much of my youth I wasted during those seven years in regards to being involved in the community and learning about religion. It took two life changing events for that to happen - both back-to-back. There was a sense of loneliness I felt as I had very few friends I had and I would rarely go out. I felt that there was a huge gap in my relationship with the Almighty (SWT). I thought about marriage; who would marry me if I'm not even known of? And lastly, I thought of death; if I were to die and nobody knew me, would people come to my Salaatul Janaaza and would there be enough people to even carry my casket out of the mosque? So these factors all led me to come back to the community. To give back, I wanted to help the youths of the community out. Having been through certain issues and realizing the stance of why youths didn't want to be involved, I felt it was best to join a youth committee. After some talks, applications, and time, I joined the MYC. And with joining the MYC, it gave me more of a reason to stay involved. I built new networks; I developed new relationships; and I made new friends. I worked with an incredible team that was great to work with and be a part of; as a team, we also accomplished many things with the help from the Most Merciful (SWT). And most importantly, I feel like I have made the connection that I needed with Him (SWT); one of my goals in life will be to try and continuously get closer to Him (SWT). It was a late realization; but as the old saying goes, better late than never.

So these reasons explain the 'bitter' moment. The next part will explain the 'sweet' moment.

It was also a happy moment for a few reasons as well. Firstly (from a selfish standpoint), its less stress! This role and responsibility also came with stress at times. All important roles & responsibilities have this thorn. One thing I want to mention: there wasn't a TON of stress. I'd say maybe about 10% of the at the very, very most was pretty stressful. Beyond that, it was a lot of fun and a great learning experience. However, I think over the past couple of months a lot of the stress from this and many other things caught up to me due to me getting sick quite often (touched on that in my last blog post). I can spend some time now recovering completely. There's also other areas I can now give more focus to (personal life; career; education; etc.)
Secondly, a new team is now in place and its great to see some fresh faces on one of the hardest working youth teams. There's a lot of apathy from the youth; I used to be one of those youth, but realized the mistake I made (as I mentioned earlier). The mistake reminds me of this hadith:
"There are two things whose worth is only known to one who has lost them: youth and health."
 - Imam Ali (AS) (Ghurar al-Hikam; no. 5764)
With these fresh faces, hopefully we'll see more youths make their way back to the community on a regular basis and not just for certain types of events or certain times of the year. Along with that, these fresh faces can continue building the MYC and taking it to new heights. It'll be great to see and support them from an 'outsider' view.
The third (and final) reason is that it will now allow me to move on to other initiatives while still being involved in the community. For one, I'll now be moving on to a couple of roles on Jaffari News that I'm looking really forward to. I'm hoping to start reading some books I got a few months ago to increase whatever limited knowledge I have currently. I'm also hoping to getting back into poetry some more, and maybe make an attempt at some spoken word poetry. People who've know me since my high school days know I used to write lyrics; then I stopped and went onto poetry. That also stopped a while ago for quite a while. Only recently did I start getting back into it; and I hope to make a bigger splash with that!

So that sums up the end of the beginning. An end came to my term on the youth committee; but it was the beginning of my involvement in the community and giving back, God-willing. I still have a few good years of my youth left, God-willing. Its important to utilize this age in the right manner. As the following hadith says:
"Verily the heart of a  youngster is like an empty plot of land - it accepts whatever is planted therein."
 - Imam Ali (AS) (Tuhaf al-'Uqual; no. 70)
For all the youths; you still have a gift and an opportunity. Take it from somebody who wishes they could go back and change those wasted seven years. Use this gift and opportunity while you still have it to give back to the community, help it grow, and essentially prepare for the arrival of the Awaited (AJTF); but most importantly, use this gift and opportunity to get closer to the Almighty (SWT).
For myself, I can't change the past but I can learn from it. So less dwelling on what's out of my control and more focus on what potentially is in my control. I'm looking really forward to all the opportunities that are potentially out there. And God-willing, I'll be able to succeed on these future endeavours, prepare myself for the Awaited (AJTF), and (most importantly) continuously get closer to the Almighty (SWT).

A Different Shahru Ramadhan & Blessed Eid

"If the servant was to the worth of Ramadhan, he would wish that Ramadhan lasted the whole year."
 - Prophet Muhammad (SAW) (Bihar al-Anwar; p. 346; no. 12)

This Shahru Ramadhan undoubtedly was the most different Shahru Ramadhan I've ever had. I was looking forward to the fasts and the many opportunities this month was going to present. However, some things just weren't meant to be.

To sum it up very quickly, I had gotten sick quite a few times over the month; this caused me to miss 19 fasts in the blessed month. I missed the first 10 while recovering from a horrible case of the stomach flu causing me to get dehydrated (which is a story for a different day); so I needed to get healthy first. Then I caught a bit of a cold after a few days of fasting; I missed 3 fasts due to this to be able to take medicine and have the cold go. After that, my body seemed to have not healed completely as I got extremely lightheaded and my energy level dipped; I missed 6 fasts to recover from that properly. And throughout the month to recover, I had to play it safe from a health perspective to recover properly. So I wasn't able to do too many additional prayers or duas. However whatever was in my ability, I did do. I read and shared a hadith each night. I listened/read and shared a Shahru Ramadhan dua each day (which gave me an interesting idea for next year if I have the chance, God willing). I listened to as many lectures as possible; I did aamals of Laylatul Qadr (and alhamdulillah, also got a chance to lead a tasbih on of the nights). I got to jointly sponsor an iftaar (breaking of the fast) with other youths in the community. I got to give whatever little charity I was able to give. I got to recite Surah Yaseen (the 36th chapter from the Holy Quran) and give the adhan (the call to prayer). And my favourite part was co-facilitating a discussion on SMART Goals for the youths of the community while celebrating my birthday during the blessed month (July 13th).


I always pray that I don't get sick during Shahru Ramadhan so I can complete the fasts. And so, this had me baffled for a while as to why I got sick so much during this blessed month. Was it a form of punishment? Possibly. But I remembered that this is the month of mercy and that I was one of the guests of the Almighty in this grand banquet. And I also remembered the blessings of such a trial, which is summed in these two hadiths:
"The wrongdoings of a sick person shed away from him like the shedding of leaves from a tree."

 - Prophet Muhammad (SAW) (al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib; v. 4; p.293; no. 56)

and

“When a believer becomes sick, Allah reveals unto the angel on his left [shoulder], ‘Do not write a sin for my servant as long as he is in My confinement and My grasp, and He reveals unto the angel on his right [shoulder], 'Write for My servant what you were writing for him in merits when he was healthy.”

 - Imam Musa al-Kadhim (AS) (Al-Kafi; v. 3; p. 114; no. 7)

 So (God-willing) either my sins were shed from my body and forgiven (which would make sense since this was the month of forgiveness); or whatever potential sins I were to commit weren't written while whatever acts I had the intention of doing were still written and I would get the reward (which would also make sense sense since this was the month of mercy as well). Hopefully, both of those happened. This is all just a possibility though; only the Almighty knows if this is true (Allahu Aalam).

But the biggest potential blessing I can see out of this is that my Shahru Ramadhan will continue after the blessed month has ended as I'll have to make up about two-thirds of the fasts I would have normally just done in the month. So (God-willing) not only would I have gotten rewards for having an intention, but the opportunity for the rewards and blessings can carry on after the month as well. And this will hopefully help me towards cutting out certain habits and building other good ones. The challenge will be greater with Shaitan back on the prowl and also being 'on my own', but it will make it that much more worth it.
Now while I do see the silver lining, I still pray that next year I don't get sick during the blessed month if I'm given the opportunity; and instead, I can continue the habits after the month if I have the chance (God-willing).

The one thing I always miss from Shahru Ramadhan is the unity: being able to pray together with brothers from the community; eating dinner with them; conversing & socializing with them; and building bonds with them. But thankfully this aspect from Shahru Ramadhan continued after the month on Eid Day in two ways  and God-willing will continue.

The first way is self-explanatory: Eid Day means going for Eid prayers; the centre being packed with everybody praying & standing side-by-side in unity; listening to the beautiful lecture from the Imam (Sheikh Jaffer H. Jaffer); and embracing all the brothers with wishes. After that, its a time for families to get together. All my sisters, brother-in-laws, and nieces/nephew were all over so everything was almost complete. Right now there just remains one missing piece, and (God-willing) next year that piece will complete the picture).

The second way was the fact that it was the day of Jumaah (Friday): This continued the unity factor with Jumaah Salaat (Friday Prayer) as it gave another opportunity to pray side-by-side in unison with brothers from the community; and it also gave another trip to the centre where another couple of sermons were heard from Sheikh Jaffer.

But the biggest thing for me ties into both those points, which meant the most for me. I got to go to Jumaah Salaat with all 3 of my brother-in-laws for the very first time. I can't express how much that meant to me because it meant a lot of different things on different levels. But undoubtedly, it was truly a blessing from the Almighty that He showered on me.

So that's how differently Shahru Ramadhan went for me & closed out; being given the opportunity in a different way than usual to continue Shahru Ramadhan after the month and having it start off right with a blessed Eid Day. And InshaAllah (God-willing) it continues for the remainder of the year.