"O You who is the light! O You who is the most holy! O You who existed before the foremost! O You who shall exist after the last!"
(Dua Kumayl)
About four weeks ago, I attended the men's spiritual retreat for men 25 and over held by the Jaffari Tabligh Board (JTB), the Academy for Learning Islam (ALI), and the Masumeen Tabligh Board (MTB). At first, I was really excited about going as it would give me the opportunity to be around a few scholars. I would also get to be out in nature again, as I really missed the youth leadership retreats I had also gone to. I managed to get the day off work so that I would be able to attend. After registering, though, I starting having my doubts. Was I going to be the youngest guy there? Would I be out of place? Was it really a good idea? Thankfully those doubts started to be removed in the first little while when I reached the resort.
On the 13th (the first day of the retreat), the day went by fairly quickly. I had to do some last minute packing and then head of for Jumaah salaat. The weather also wasn't the best; cloudy and chilly. That also didn't really help the doubts I was having. Shortly after Jumaah salaat, I met with the folks I was going to carpool with and we headed off to the retreat. Thankfully I didn't have to drive either and I could enjoy the car ride.
When we got to the retreat, we got the keys to our rooms. There was a beautiful view of the lake from the room, which started to relieve the anxiety. Shortly after that, I met my brother-in-law and a few other people who signed up for the retreat. The first doubt was shortly removed as I met a good brother who was 2 years younger than me. Thereafter, I started seeing a few people I knew (some of the scholars, are people who attended Masumeen, etc.). After seeing people I knew and the different ranges in age, my second doubt also was removed.
The retreat itself was nice and laid back. It wasn't too heavily packed, and most things were optional. Still when one is in such an environment, one should try to take advantage as much as possible and get the most out of it all. Thus, I didn't sleep too much (and thankfully didn't suffer!).
All the scholars gave their own lectures and faciliated discussion circles in the two nights we stayed there. We also got religious knowledge - e.g. learning more about Salatul Layl and the nawafil of Maghrib - throughout various parts of the retreat (e.g. one-on-one discussions, during 'food' time, etc.). We also got time for outdoor activities as well - water sports, volleyball, indoor swimming, basketball, etc. (pick & choose what you'd want to do).
But what about that last doubt? Was the retreat worth it? I won't answer that yet; I'll share my reasonings for going and some experiences before I answer it.
One reason I wanted to go was so that I could network with people. This was an excellent opportunity where I could network with different folks. This was easily accomplished as there were folks with different career backgrounds (e.g. lawyer; doctors; business folks, etc.) and volunteer backgrounds (e.g. scouts; Big Brother, etc.). I got to talk some brothers about my job, which I believe will help them with their children when they enter college/university. I also got to meet some 'old' faces (i.e. folks I haven't seen in many years because of the move from Richmond Hill to Brampton 9 years ago).
Another reason I wanted to go (which ties a bit in with the reason above) was because I am currently moving from the 'youth' stage to the 'adult' stage and wanted a nice, solid 'bridge' built. Having just finished a term on the Masumeen Youth Committee (which I wrote a blog post on earlier), I wanted to have a nice transition. I was able to share my views as a youth and also got to understand some perspectives from the adults. So this was also accomplished.
I also wanted to get my name out there (which ties in the first two reasons). This was done for a personal reason and something I'm hoping I can accomplish. I don't want to get into any details about this. But I was able to get my name out there. God-willing, what I'm hoping to accomplish will get accomplished (and soon as well I hope).
A fourth reason was to be in the company of scholars and 'picks their minds' as much as I could. I had some really good conversations with them as well and got some help for a couple of things I'm working on. It was interesting to see and a major help to get different perspectives. Along with that, its always good to be in the company of scholars and knowledgeable people. It reminded me of this hadith:
"Association with a learned one in the slums, is by far better than sitting with an ignorant person on sumptuous and luxurious carpets."
- Imam Musa al-Kadhim (AS) (Al-Kafi; v.1 p.48)
Along with that, the scholars were very welcoming to converse and answer/help various questions. When you feel such a welcome, you want to ask as many questions as you can because you don't know if you'll have such an opportunity again. I came across this hadith as well which I found when I was looking for something else, but really describes how to approach a scholar with respect and proper akhlaq (manners):
"When confronting a sage, try to be more inquisitive than talkative, and learn how to listen well as much as you learn how to speak well, and do not interrupt the statement of anyone."
- Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (AS) (Bihar al-Anwar; v.1; p.222)
Side note: a sage is defined as "a profoundly wise person".
And the final reason that I wanted to go was because I wanted to get away from a lot of things; I needed a break from many things that have been happening and just have a chance to really reflect. I feel like I've been in a rough patch for quite some time - being sick for a few weeks in a row; other personal issues; etc.
On the first level, I got to be away from work and other responsibilities; indeed it was quite relaxing on that part (although the work kind of piled up after...but oh well).
On a second level, I got to do some outdoor activities. I enjoyed a wonderful hike; I got to play some basketball (and re-discovered my shot!); I got to enjoy 'Khoja' volleyball. The only downside was me hurting my knee (which happened in a weird way - but maybe there was some benefit in it).
On the third level, I got to be out in nature. Its really hard to describe what one feels when you can see the night light up by a bunch of stars, watching the sunrise and seeing it shining so brightly, seeing the fog on the lake, or just seeing what looks like a never-ending body of water. It helped me to reflect on a few different things when I just sat on the dock in front of the lake without any noise. I took that opportunity a few times, especially on the last day due to my knee issue (which may have been the benefit). I got to clear my head as well and look at the beautiful bounties of the Almighty. And that's where I also got to understand those words from Dua Kumayl that I mentioned above. The "city life" gets busy and we don't get to enjoy a lot of those natural blessings, thus causing a darkness in our lives; going to such a place opens up one's mind and sheds light into the darkness that come(s) up in life. This natural beauty was there as well before, and will remain there after one's journey is over - in a way showing (through His creations) that Almighty was there before everything, and will remain after everything.
So to answer the question, yes it was worth it. Completely worth it. And if the opportunity is available again next year, I'd honestly love to go again. The bigger challenge also comes now because what was learned at the retreat now has to be applied in daily, busy life. But its a challenge I'm looking forward to. I've started to get myself back on track. I've had enough setbacks, and its time I get the ball rolling again to make sure I'm making progress instead of regressing or staying stagnant.
One last picture to end the blog, which has a symbolic meaning as well. Its of the sun rising; you can apply your own symbolic meaning to it.
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