I was asked to play a different role this year, that of an Angel which had quite a few tasks. To sum it up though in one sentence, the role was to help in organizing the retreat itself. And like last year as well, there were a few challenges (albeit, somewhat different than last year). I also went in with two major thoughts/objectives:
1) How can I help others out as much as the retreat helped me last year?
2) How can I learn & develop my own skills this year?
The challenges started off from the get go and thankfully helped me in those two thoughts/objectives. The first two steps (and challenges) itself were to find participants and to fundraise for the retreat.
Finding potential participants wasn't too difficult; it was presenting to them the benefits & value of going. It made me heavily reflect about what I gained from the retreat and how it helped me to develop my own skills (some of the accomplishments are mentioned in my previous post). The method of talking to potential people as well really took me out of my comfort zone, which helped me develop my own skills. I'll be honest; I really don't like talking much on the phone and I tend to remain silent in person. However, I had to really break out of that prison I set on myself and thus allow myself to grow. I also got to use my normal methods to promote & recruit (i.e. Facebook), which was a lot of fun. I pushed as hard as I could on Facebook for people to fill registrations and gouge their interest. I'm not sure how many people I influenced, but I'm hoping that there was at least 1-2 participants I helped influence in coming.
The fundraising was another challenge that also really took me out of my comfort zone. I've never, ever, EVER done any sort of fundraising before. This whole process was a new learning experience for me. Thankfully, there was a lot of people who were willing to help me out once I presented to them how his retreat helped me out, what I hope to accomplish this year, and how their investment will develop the leaders of tomorrow. To all the people who helped: a major, major thank you! This retreat could not have happened without that help.
The rest of the challenges came closer towards the retreat, or at the retreat itself. One challenge that came about was one person who I had been talking to about the retreat having some unexpected obstacles popping up that could have potentially prevented them from coming. This allowed me to work on my first question/objective because I really, really, REALLY wanted that person to be able to make it. Alhamdulillah, that issue got resolved and the person was able to make it. I didn't do much (in my opinion); but I was able to connect with the right person to help get that issue resolved and with the generosity of people, the situation worked out.
Another challenge was the driving aspect. In my post last year, I mentioned how I had a huge fear of driving and that I hadn't driven lost distances myself. This year, I felt more comfortable driving. However, I tried to do something different this year; it was coordinating a trip to the retreat with another driver. We met at a location (JCC), and went from them with other driver leading the way and me following. Undoubtedly, this was another learning experience because I've never followed anybody when driving. And especially following somebody during rush hour; that itself was a challenge. Trying to keep up; trying to find out where they are (at times, they were far ahead lol). But thankfully after getting out the major traffic areas, it was a lot easier to follow and manage.
At the retreat itself, the challenges started right away. After getting to retreat and praying Salaatul Asr in Jamaat, the folks in my car and myself went to get our things from the car. And this is where another learning experience kicked. I always lock my doors when I exit the car and don't like to leave any windows open. When we got to the treat, we took out most of the stuff from the seats and thus I locked the door when we went to pray. When we came back, we only had to unload the trunk. So after we unloaded the trunk and closed it, we realized that there was still chips in the car. No biggie right? Just go and open the car? Here's where the problem and the learning experience REALLY kicks in. We couldn't find the key. We all checked our pockets, etc. but no luck. So we thought the worst: they keys were in the trunk, the doors are all locked, and I don't have a back up key. Fast forward to night time and when I go to take my pillow out of a bag, I see the key in there. I can't explain the relief I felt! And it made me learn that a) always bring a back up key; and b) always check to make sure I have the key before I close the trunk.
Another challenge was during Salaat. Alhamdulillah, I was given the opportunity to lead Salaat a few times. I also got to recite duas as well after the Salaat. The two biggest challenges for me were going over certain rules of Jamaat Salaat and also presenting briefly Salaatul Ghufayla. At MIC, Sh. Jaffer has been going over various rules of Jamaat Salaat which have been extremely beneficial. I thought that it would be an excellent idea to take the initiative he started and attempt it at the retreat; I credit the idea to him (and he also gave me his opinion on which rules to mention as well despite only a short time to review them when I asked him). I got some great feedback, alhamdulillah, and I know what I can improve on as well; and inshaAllah, I hope everybody took benefits out of it. I also brought handouts on how to pray Salaatul Ghufayla. Its helped me out in many ways, and I wanted to share its benefit with others. This is something else I learned from Sh. Jaffer in a one-on-one conversation and he also provided me with a handout. I hope everybody remembers to pray it regularly because its a Salaat where you ask for hajaat during the Qunoot in the Salaat. And please keep in your duas, inshaAllah. These two things helped me accomplish both the questions/objectives I had as I felt it would help others and would help me learn when presenting these types of benefits.
There was also the challenges during the activities & workshops. We had to go out of the comfort zone of our daily routine (lack of sleep; different meal times; etc.). We learned quite a few different things during the workshops (e.g. Jonah's complex; creating SMART goals and applying them on the Wheel of Life). We met new people (which was honestly really awesome...I'll explain in a bit why).
The biggest challenge for me was the object that described me. For myself, it was hard choosing something; but I decided to use the same thing as I did last year. This year, I also dug deeper within myself. I had to re-visit old memories, go through some painful timelines, and get myself in that same emotional mindset to really express myself.
The last challenges will be on-going again this year. Everybody has set their SMART goals and made their Wheels of Life. The smaller challenge is to complete and accomplish all those goals. I see this as a smaller challenge because we all dug deep inside and thought about what we really wanted to accomplish before established our SMART goals. The bigger challenge is creating a change. Why is this the bigger challenge? Similar to what I said last year; before we can expect change externally, we must make a change internally (i.e. in ourselves). I won't speak for anybody else at this point, but maybe hope to inspire/help others (as per my second question/objective). The only way change internally is by finding motivation - both internally (primarily) & externally (secondarily). As I mentioned last year as well, people who know know that I've changed and evolved over the past few years (even over the past year). Its hard not to stay stagnant; its always important to grow, and growing in a positive way is a challenge (which can help others by influence and also help me learn about my shortcomings and strengths). But I believe I can achieve this and build from last year. Externally, I have a great mentor and buddy who'll also challenge me. Internally, I have a strong feeling and firm faith in myself that I can accomplish this; and more importantly, I have complete yaqeen (certainty) in the Most Merciful (SWT) that he'll guide me through it all and help me accomplish my goals, especially the biggest one I continuously pray for.
Outside of all the challenges, it was another incredible experience. While last year we got a full moon over the body of water, this year it was a completely clear sky filled stars (during the night time). Honestly unbelievable; I was able to see the Big Dipper constellation! During the day time, it was gorgeous weather with the sun shining down, a peaceful wind, the body of water, and trees surrounding it. So incredibly peaceful (with no cell reception and no WiFi). It makes you realize how limitless the bounties of the Lord are.
I have a poem I wrote called "On the Edge of Insanity"; a person who I met mentioned how the following picture reminded them of the poem (where this tree that stands alone represents a person on the edge of insanity). The picture also represents the scenery from the retreat (and major credits/thanks for the person who took this and let me use the photo for my blog!):
The biggest lesson I learned this year is to have complete yaqeen (certainty) in the Almighty (SWT). When an intention is pure, somehow He'll help you out. Just like how I needed help throughout all these challenges and will still need help with the upcoming challenges, it can only happen with His will and help. As the saying goes: when there's a will, there's a way! So find that will, and you'll find your way! Meeting and networking with new people was great because I could similarities with other folks on things we like (e.g. poetry; speaking publicly; etc.) I also had some really wonderful conversations with people through out the camp, whether it was on the way to the camp fire or it was on the dock, and got to know some people a lot better; I hope they develop into really good friendships at the very least as all those folks are incredible and we could relate on a few different things. I was also happy I got to open up more, share some poetry, and most importantly, meet incredible folks who I hope (inshaAllah) will keep me in their duas.
I honestly hope that next year I'm able to go back in a similar role and develop myself further while helping others (Mashal - this part is for you; THANK YOU for inviting me again this year! Please remember me for next year's retreat, inshaAllah!)
One final note: I have to give another big shout out to my best friend again. Last year, I asked them to update my Facebook status for my 'Quote of the Day', which was done. This year, I found a different method to update but asked them to double-check and make sure it was updated. That's truly how a best friend should be; thanks ketchup buddy! And also a big shout out to my sister who lent me her camera since mine wasn't working. I was able to take some awesome pictures, which I'll upload soon hopefully!
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