Its been quite a couple of weeks, which has felt more like a couple of months. Ups and downs; motivating and demotivating at times; peaks of energy and periods of procrastination. I can hardly believe its been only two weeks because of all the events. But the focus isn't really all the events in this post.
To give it some context, I got sick about 2 weeks ago. It wasn't as bad (or as normal) as it usually was: had a slight sore throat for a couple of days; then it developed in a bit of a runny & stuffy nose; then it kind of went back to a sore throat; and then kind of just drifted away. Prior to that, I was in a really rough period. I felt like I was finally close to my destination, but that wasn't the case (or at least that how it seems). With my back against a wall, I was holding onto a the smallest thread of hope. I'm a type of person that when the odds are 99% against me, I'll go for that 1% shot if I feel its worth it. And this 1% undoubtedly was worth it because...well I won't get into that either. But like I said, I felt it was my destination; and when things started to quickly collapse, I started losing hope, patience, and strength (both emotionally and mentally). And thankfully, that's when I got sick.
As I mentioned in my "Epiphany: Loyalty and 313" post, I have epiphanies when I get sick. And this was the perfect time for an epiphany. A much needed epiphany. The epiphany that came to me was that God always gives us an opportunity. An opportunity to start fresh; to move on & learn from the past; to have a bit of a new 'beginning'. As the saying goes, "out with the old, in with the new." Often, we are presented with opportunities for a fresh start; but we dwell so much on the past we don't see the exiting opportunities of the future. It reminds me of the following quote:
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
- Alexander Graham Bell
I also realized that I tend to have these "starting fresh" moments when I get sick. That doesn't mean that every time I get sick that these moments pop up; rather that when I'm at crossroads, they tend to pop up.
However, my thought process didn't stop there because that would be a very limited view. What's interesting is that when you sometimes really need to hear or read something to make you feel better or realize something, someway or another it gets presented to you. I mentioned before I felt hopelessness, loss of patience, and my strength diminishing. One thing I did was pray, and absolutely pray as hard as I ever had with the most sincerest, honest, and purest of intentions. And I gave myself a timeline where after a certain point, I'd leave it in God's hands. And when did that moment come where I left this situation in the Almighty's hands? Take a guess....(wait for it)....(wait for it)...right when I got sick. Funny how sometimes thing work out isn't it?
Going back to my thoughts and 'epiphany' moment; once I realized that I was given the opportunity for a fresh start, it made me realize that the Almighty will always help you find a way through any situation if you let Him in your life; and in each situation when a fresh start is presented, He is also giving you the opportunity to get closer to Him. This should always be the goal in life - to get as close to Him as we can. Continuing on though with my thought process - what happens when we closer to somebody? Its simple; we start to trust them. And that was the climax of my epiphany - to have complete reliance, trust and yaqeen (certainty) in the Almighty and what He has planned for me; i.e. Tawakkul.
And throughout the two weeks, it seems that there was so many tweets, posts, etc. with quotes or hadiths that were telling me that same message of Tawakkul (i.e. to have complete faith, trust, & reliance in the Almighty). A couple of my favourite hadiths were:
"Only Allah will grant you ease after your hardship." - Imam Ali (AS)
"Oh Allah; when I lose my hopes and plans, help me remember that your love is greater than my disappointments, and your plans for my life are better than my dreams." - Imam Ali (AS)
It needs to be kept in mind that if He brought you to it, He'll get you through it. He knows our full potential and what we're capable of handling; and He gives us this opportunity to get closer to Him. As it states in the Holy Quran, "On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear." (Surah al-Baqarah; 2:286)
Even in the Holy Quran, Tawakkul is mentioned multiple times as a reminder to practice it. As it states, "And
whoever trusts in Allah, He is sufficient for him." (Surah at-Talaaq; 65:3)
There are also a few hadiths on Tawakkul as well and its importance. Here are two that really stand out to me:
"One, who prefers
to be considered from amongst the virtuous, should rely solely upon God." - Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
"One, who entrusts his work to God, will be
always at rest and will enjoy a happy life." - Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (AS)
With multiple reminders by God in the Holy Quran and by the multiple hadiths from the Ahlul Bayt (AS), Tawakkul needs to become a vital part of our lives. Not only does it help build our faith and give us an opportunity to get closer to the Almighty (SWT), but it also eases the burdens of stress on our lives to make our lives easier and happier. Now this doesn't mean that we just sit back & relax; we need to continue to work hard (and I speak to myself before I speak to others). Once we put in that effort through our actions & duas, then He'll help us through any & every situation that comes up in life.
I also did a little bit more reading into Tawakkul and noticed a link between it and Zuhd (i.e. asceticism). A person who practices Zuhd is known as a Zahid - which is my middle name. Its REALLY interesting how things work out, isn't it? Maybe that's why God blessed me with this epiphany as this crucial point in my life through those various posts, tweets, and reminders. Kind of like a full circle.
I'm thankful that getting sick helped me realized that; because once I did, it made me feel upbeat. It gave me a shift in perspective. It gave me a fresh start. It gave me more opportunities to get closer to Allah (SWT), which I'm hoping (and feeling) that I have. And most importantly, it gave me the epiphany that I much needed to remain patient and trust His plan for me.
As for my destination...who knows where it is. But I've left that up to the Almighty's. If that 1% chance of hope is to happen, then He'll make it happen. And if not, I trust His plan for me and that there is something better out there for me. He's already presented me with other opportunities so I know and I have complete yaqeen that I can rely on Him and His plan/will for me.
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